Smell Like An Orc 90
You may have no trouble smelling like an orc after 12 straight hours of raiding, but if you do, Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab is here for you. The company has come out with a line of RPG inspired perfumes. Choose from: Dwarf, Elf, Half-elf, Hafling, Orc, Cleric, Fighter, or Mage and people will not only see that you're a geek, they'll smell it too.
Orc? (Score:1)
Smell like Steve Ballmer? No thanks.
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Do you really want to smell like an orc? Okay. DMSO. The amount may vary per person, but start with one or two teaspoons per day. Increase the dose if nobody complains after a few days. At first, people might wonder, "Did someone open a can of oysters?" And if you keep at it, I guarantee that you WILL smell like rotting garbage.
Please note that while you are helping your health, you are creating a very real risk of losing whatever relationships you may have, if you make this more than a short-term exp
Always the same... (Score:1)
Cheetos and Mountain Dew. It's what Orcs smell like. It's what Elves smell like. It's the aroma eternal, the olfactory cloak that keeps watch over all gaming tables.
Fart like a troll (Score:2)
YUCK!
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How is a troll fart smell different compared to humans and others? :P
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Smells like an emotional burn? Eh?
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Actual scents (Score:5, Funny)
Dwarf: Smells strongly of BO, smoke, and earth
Elf: Smells of BO poorly covered with essential oils
Half-Elf: More BO, less essential oils.
Halfling: BO, but at half strength, with a hint of bacon and eggs.
Orc: 8 times the BO standard, plus the stench of rotten breath.
Cleric: BO covered with incense
Fighter: BO, double strength
Mage: Smells like Brylcreme. Mages can make BO disappear but are clearly at a loss as to what to do with their hair.
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ROFLMAO! Thank you for making my day there.
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Pusling: How do you tell if you've used enough deodorant?
The Drifter: You grab an Orc and shove its head into your armpit. If it passes out, it's time for another coat.
Re:Actual scents (Score:5, Funny)
I wouldn't want to visit those factories that make them. Tho 'tis rumored, that the fumes emanating from their smokestacks are so strong, that the females in the vicinity tend to shed off their clothes, and their inhibitions, and for the weaker of the species, their control, as they lunge at the nearest male, with intent to mate with wanton abandon...
Re:Actual scents (Score:4, Insightful)
^^^
This is why we don't post articles about orcs, people. Jesus Christ.
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It just makes sense that orcs would smell of Axe body spray.
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What's "BO" ?
BO [urbandictionary.com]. Here's some
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Put your nose near your armpit and inhale deeply through it.
That unpleasant stench you smell? BO.
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What's "BO" ?
The president's dog, silly
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Somebody's obviously been to more than a few Renaissance Faires.
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The Ranger smells like patchouli? I knew it, damn treehugger hippie.
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Why does a rogue smell like an instrument case?
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Aha, the bard moonlighting also explains why he smells like "hemp"...
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Murder: Smells like crazy with a good dash of virginal women. Pays for lunch.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0396171/ [imdb.com]
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There's only one ingredient in all flavors, (Score:1)
Eau d' Geek (Score:2)
Chances are they already do.
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This. Anyone who's ever been at a LAN party knows that a geek doesn't need some fancy pants perfume to smell like a geek.
if you're putting it on your pants, you're doing it wrong
Same scent, different bottles (Score:2)
buh (Score:5, Informative)
http://www.blackphoenixalchemylab.com/rpg.html [blackphoen...emylab.com]
Link to the actual site rather than BoingBoing.
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Make friends with American (we're not all bad)
Have them order it for you to their address
Ship it to your country
Enjoy!
Not that hard, mate.
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Something new at least (Score:1)
Countless stories have been written about these races, all of them slightly rehashed with a few small combinations changed but largely the races characteristics and their appearance have largely remained unchanged in all the media they have been portrayed in. Here at last is something new about these overused boiler plate races.
The smell of each of them is something new, will our mental image of them change after smelling them?
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Related? (Score:2)
Is thois story related to the previous one "using the International Space Station as a testbed for a human mission to Mars?" Is that where they determined what anorc should smell like?
Don't mod me down! (Score:5, Funny)
Missing Scent: Human (Score:2)
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Calm down, we can smell you just fine already.
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Are you saying you are not actually human IRL?
How about washing? (Score:2)
Is there an RPG that has a soap and water class?
The orc your man can smell like! (Score:5, Funny)
Hello ladies...
Take a look at your man, hunched over the computer monitor,
Now back at me.
Now back you man, who's been playing WoW for two days straight.
Sadly, he isn't me - and will likely never live my envious lifestyle or even own a horse,
But since he's already a hardcore gamer, he may as well smell the part too...
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Worg.
Fuck WoW, orcs "ride" worgs.
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Every bit of reading I've ever done that wasn't Tolkien (that mentioned them of course) spelled it "worg" - I'm going to go with the popular spelling.
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Sorry to be a Grammar Nazgul, but they ride Warg's
Damn! (Score:2)
Is there a +1 Funny in the house?
Smell like a monster (Score:2)
"Sadly, he isn't me - and will likely never live my envious lifestyle or even own a horse..."
Moo.
Good grief (Score:2)
You know, you try to convince people you're just like everyone else, that the stereotypes about geeks aren't true, that you really do know how to talk to girls... Then a story like this one gets out.
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... and what is so odd about the scent of "worn leather, hemp, and rosin"? Take a look. These are hardly bad scents.
The above description is Rogue. Those are good smells, and taken together would smell much like an old leather jacket, riding gear, or perhaps an instrument case. Not "yuck" at all.
Ah crap (Score:1)
They're on to me!
Inconsistency (Score:2)
Besides, classes are mixed with races. A half-elf can be a fighter, a cleric or a mage. That list doesn't make sense to me.
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$17.50 for 5 ml...You gotta be kiddin' me!!!!
Almost as expensive as printer ink.
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it's a perfume oil, not perfume. you can either apply it sparingly or dilute it with alcohol yourself at, say, 1:15 to 1:30-ish, so it's about equivalent to 100mL of the stuff at the drugstore.
also, perfume is a luxury good commanding luxury prices; this line in particular is catering to a very limited market...
Oblig. (Score:2)
Ladies. Look at your Orc. Now back to me. Now back to your Orc. Now back to me.
Less popular than the ZX Spectrum (Score:2)
I thought some enterprising British company had created some weird-ass fragrance that smelled like retro computer plastic or something. Not entirely unlike this [basenotes.net] or these guys [demeterfragrance.com] (*)
Smell like an Orc? Not so much. I thought that (a) your stereotype geek was already pretty competent at that, and (b) it wasn't something that would normally be considered desirable.
(*) Disclaimer;
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As opposed to smelling like Orac. (OK, I guess that probably smells the same as an Oric.)
Redundant (Score:2)
You're a slashdotter. Girls can smell it on you already.
Masters of war (Score:2)
Not that hard (Score:2)
Lemme guess...fill the bottle with butyric acid, top of with some random aromatic oil...profit!
Shrek MAD! (Score:2)
Why no Ogre scent?
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Two guesses why... (Score:1)
Smell like a... (WoW edition) (Score:3, Funny)
You can do this yourself! You don't need a perfume factory! Smell like a...
Tauren: Worchestershire sauce
Forsaken: "biology experiment" in the 8-month-old milk carton
Gnome: Fukashina (BOO! BOO! TOO SOON!)
Blood Elf: Hairspray. More hairspray. More hairspray than that. Gnarly.
Murloc: Yesterday's sushi
Night Elf: lavender and rose buds, such a horrible scent they be
Worgen: wet dog
Draenei: wet goat
Goblin: newly-minted roll of quarters
Dwarf: sacramental whisky, splashed behind the ears
Troll: ganja! I mean, oregano
Human: plain nonfat unflavored watered down yogurt
Blizz GM: capacitor electrolyte
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Fukushima.
You succed in opening the tin. (Score:2)
It smells like goblins. Eat it?