The Most Dangerous Toys of 2011 292
theodp writes "If you've procrastinated on your Xmas shopping this year, fear not: Gawker's just published its tongue-in-cheek 2011 Top Picks for Gifts That Maim or Poison Children. Until President Nixon enacted the first national safety standard for playthings with the Toy Safety Act in 1969, the toy industry was pretty much anything-goes. As a result of the legislation, children may live longer, but they'll never know the joys of many beloved-but-dangerous classics, including Zulu Guns, Jarts, and Clackers."
Want! (Score:5, Funny)
What sort of psychology are they playing at here?
When I was a wee lad we have to burn ourselves with Thing-makers, pinch fingers in gears of Erector sets and poison ourselves with Chemistry sets. Kids today have it much harder.
It's an arms race.. (Score:5, Funny)
They keep making safer toys we keep making more dangerous children.
Re:It's an arms race.. (Score:4, Funny)
To think, not so long ago, my siblings and I were all lobbing lawn darts at each other, yet we all lived and didn't even lose an eye.
Surviving lawn darts (Score:5, Funny)
To think, not so long ago, my siblings and I were all lobbing lawn darts at each other, yet we all lived and didn't even lose an eye.
Of course only those of us nimble enough to dodge are here to make and read these lawn dart posts. :-)
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Re:Surviving lawn darts (Score:5, Funny)
Someone will have to pry my Jarts out of my cold dead hands.
HAHAHA! Oh, wait. That was intended to ironic, wasn't it?
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Yeah, thank God, otherwise where would you find a Jarts [amazon.com] in this day and age?!? (Jarts are to lawn darts what Nerf guns are to real guns).
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Or..do kids even play outside anymore these days...without it being some schedule, regimented, planned parent monitored activity?
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Really, if you're too slow and unable to avoid a large, brightly colored, hand-thrown dart lobbed in the air, you probably should be driven to school and back and not allowed to play any sport involving more than one person at a time.
Re:Surviving lawn darts (Score:4, Informative)
If you're playing with it actively, not a big deal. But then again, the sun does have a nasty habit of getting in your eye, so during the glare of day can make it quite difficult to see.
And given children may toss it and have it go off in a random direction because they released it wrongly could mean hitting someone who doesn't expect it. Like someone walking down the sidewalk, your neighbour, etc. Nevermind that people seem to be constantly distracted by their cellphones whilst walking down the street to even notice that there might be an object heading their way (this includes street furniture, cars, and lamp posts, too).
I Remember (Score:5, Insightful)
I remember lawn darts. We lost a lot of stupid kids with that one.
Re:Surviving lawn darts (Score:4, Funny)
I remember lawn darts! Damn those were fun. I got hit with one once, right above my left eye. Big fiasco. I don't remember much about it. I've had trouble remembering things since. But I remember that the lawn darts were fun
Re:It's an arms race.. (Score:5, Funny)
To think, not so long ago, my siblings and I were all lobbing lawn darts at each other, yet we all lived and didn't even lose an eye.
I used to be an adventurous kid until I caught a lawn dart in the knee.
Re:Want! (Score:5, Insightful)
Re:Want! (Score:5, Insightful)
BB guns were considered toys (they are currently classified as firearms in the city I'm living in)
They don't quite get the 'fire' part, do they?
Frankly a dartboard set is far more dangerous.
Re:Want! (Score:5, Insightful)
Re:Want! (Score:5, Insightful)
Or even harder, recognizing that some accidents are really freak events. They couldn't have been foreseen, probably won't happen again, and suggest no particular preventive action.
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In my town, a portable electric heater started a fire (as they are occasionally known to do), and killed three children. The mother received third degree burns trying to save her children. Now, in addition to the unthinkable loss of all her children, she must also deal with the fact that she and her husband, who was at wor
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What normal kid would do that and shoot it at another person? You can kill someone with all sorts of household items when they're used maliciously. The solution is to hold individuals to a standard of behavior.
Or do you suggest we tell kids they can't play baseball anymore because it's possible to use a bat as a weapon? Maybe we shouldn't allow them to butter their own bread, either.
Re:Want! (Score:5, Insightful)
'cept a .22 cal air-powered pellet gun that shoots pellets at 1100 fps might as well be a firearm.
Re:Want! (Score:4, Informative)
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My dad picked up a BB gun last year and I will say the thing is heavier than his 60 year old .22. When most people think air rifle they think of the old red riders where you would have to pump it 10 times and you would be lucky to get it to go 20 feet. The air rifles today are wickedly more dangerous and really need to be respected
Re:Want! (Score:5, Funny)
Everybody knows that a human eye can't perceive anything more than 60 fps. You need a pellet gun doing 1100 fps only because you have a small.... oh, wait, wrong thread?
Re:Want! (Score:5, Insightful)
Funny how that works. get rid of chemistry sets, and hobby chemistry becomes an endangered species.
It doesn't help that buying things as simple as labware probably get you thrown on some 'suspected meth cook' list, either.
If things were always like that, I imagine we'd still think there were only four elements.
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"It doesn't help that buying things as simple as labware probably get you thrown on some 'suspected meth cook' list, either."
If you're lucky, otherwise Homeland Security might become interested in you.
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Pretty sure I've still got parts of my old childhood chemistry set floating around somewhere, including some old childhood microscope set from the 50's. I know there was some interesting stuff in both of those. Yep, long gone is the era of unique and neat stuff.
It doesn't take labware... (Score:2)
It doesn't help that buying things as simple as labware probably get you thrown on some 'suspected meth cook' list, either.
Labware? In Canada just trying to buy nasal decongestant tablets is enough to require asking the chemist (the tablets are behind the counter), showing photo-ID and having your name recorded. When I asked why I had to do this when tablets with exactly the same decongestant, but including paracetamol (acetaminophen) as well, were on the shelves the reason given was that without the paracetamol the tablets can be used to make meth.
So by the time you are up to labware I'm sure you are being added to a terro
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Don't feel too bad about Canada. We have the exact same restrictions on buying pseudoephedrine in the states, for the exact same reason.
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Our restrictions are worse, actually. Down here, EVERY pseudoephedrine product is behind the counter, even the products with APAP or other active ingredients that would be nearly impossible to make meth with.
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Whenever I buy cough remedies requiring registration, I make sure to combine the purchase with something else, just to amuse the poor DHS/DEA clerks.
Ok, so this guy bought NyQuil and ... french ticklers?
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Assuming you're from the UK because of the word choices, pseudoephedrine incompletely illegal there. The chemist gave me a good long look when I went in and asked for it.
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incompletely illegal?
I can confirm that pseudoephedrine is legal here in the UK. I have some on my desk right now. You do have to ask for the correct sudafed as the good stuff is always behind the counter, but that's just modern life. ;)
Re:Want! (Score:5, Funny)
Comment removed (Score:5, Insightful)
Re:Want! (Score:5, Insightful)
are kids really THAT much stupider than when we were kids?
I don't think so, but the parents are that much dumber. Or less attentive (same thing, really.)
Re:Want! (Score:5, Insightful)
But compared to the stuff we had when I was a kid the stuff on the list is a fricking joke! heck when I was a kid we all had minibikes starting as young as 5!
Today kids have that too. My almost-three-year old daughter has a bike that rides like the devil himself is behind her, and sometimes get some nice bruises from falling. She wears a helmet (hey I'm not stupid) and more clothing than average, and we try to watch her all the time, but she's pretty independant. More than I was with her age - she uses the bathroom, can count to 20, can sing whole songs, recognize some numbers, can use the fridge and pick her food, can go to the cabinet and pick silverwear without picking the knives, can say many words, and - since I've been showing her some american Sesame Street videos, she can say some english words. And when she plays outside, she sometimes eats dirt. :D
In contrast, I have some fellow parent friends with children of the same age that don't eat solid food and live in constant fear of germs. Everything must be sanitized. Who do you think is the bigger kid?
The problem is that my parent's generation was too laxing (mercury? eat it, is good for something or it wouldn't be in your food), and the current parents are too misinformed (everything is a threat and will kill your child! with mercury!), and there's no middle ground. And parents are such an easy prey for marketing pitches...
Comment removed (Score:5, Interesting)
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As life gets better it becomes more valuable, and smaller and smaller dangers become unacceptable. That's progress for you.
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I too had a thingmaker so i assume you are a child of the early 70s. We had to con
It that time of year. . (Score:5, Funny)
You'll lose an eye
Re:It that time of year. . (Score:5, Funny)
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Actually it was "You'll shoot your eye out, kid"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ppOXpyhM2wA [youtube.com]
The most dangerous toys (Score:3)
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toys with molten metal (Score:5, Interesting)
When I was a lad (50's/60's) we had a toy where you'd melt some metal (lead? or something with a low melting point anyway) in a little crucible over a burner and pour the result into a mold. It would cool and form a little metal soldier figure, whereupon you'd take the two sides of the mold apart and out it would fall.
I'm sure a few trips to the ER were caused somewhere or another due to this toy, but you know, I'd rather not lived in the kind of dumbed down idiot-proof world that comes from trying to save people from themselves. That's a surefire way to breed more idiots.
Re:toys with molten metal (Score:4, Informative)
It was probably wood's alloy. It's got a nice low melting temperature around 80C-90C and would probably have been perfect for those kinds of toys.
Re:toys with molten metal (Score:5, Funny)
Re:toys with molten metal (Score:5, Funny)
It was probably wood's alloy. It's got a nice low melting temperature around 80C-90C and would probably have been perfect for those kinds of toys.
Wikipedia: "It is a eutectic alloy of 50% bismuth, 26.7% lead, 13.3% tin, and 10% cadmium by weight."
What could possibly go wrong?
Re:toys with molten metal (Score:5, Interesting)
I'm sure a few trips to the ER were caused somewhere or another due to this toy,
I totally burned the shit out of my thumb when I was a kid, by melting some glass with my dad's propane torch and generally being an idiot.
I did it again (to my palm) when I first bought a house and installed a boiler and had my hand directly under a solder joint (yeah, I way over-flowed that joint).
Hot molten shit hurts. A lot. I now have good plumbing gloves (never swung for the third strike after that). Besides learning to buy gloves, I'm now very aware of the dangers of being between the dangerous thing and the Earth's core. It would be great if we could give kids a big list of "don't do that" but humans seem to learn better from experience.
but you know, I'd rather not lived in the kind of dumbed down idiot-proof world that comes from trying to save people from themselves. That's a surefire way to breed more idiots.
Well, that is the point. Idiots are easy to control. When people are farmed as livestock for 'their' tax money, having rambunctious ones just decreases the profit per head. Best to keep them calm, dumb, and in front of reality TV.
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I'm sure a few trips to the ER were caused somewhere or another due to this toy,
I totally burned the shit out of my thumb when I was a kid, by melting some glass with my dad's propane torch and generally being an idiot.
You don't need "tools" or "toys" - when I was 5, I tested what this "it's HOT! you'll BURN YOURSELF!" stuff was all about with my index finger on an iron. Lost the fingerprint on the tip of that finger - and yet, I lived.
Re:toys with molten metal (Score:5, Insightful)
You don't need "tools" or "toys" - when I was 5, I tested what this "it's HOT! you'll BURN YOURSELF!" stuff was all about with my index finger on an iron. Lost the fingerprint on the tip of that finger - and yet, I lived.
And sadly enough, it would be a completely different story for a kid today. The mother would scream her lungs out and floor it to the ER in her SUV (endangering tons of people along the way). Once there, she would scream at the charge nurse for having to wait behind a multiple-GSW patient who is bleeding into his lungs. After finally seeing a PA, she would get the same advice most people used to take for granted - put some ointment on it, keep it cool and dry, and make an appointment with the family doctor if it doesn't get better in a couple of days.
Oh yeah, and you better believe she would call for a MASSIVE lawsuit against the manufacturer of the iron because it was "too hot" and her precious little snowflake is now "permanently disfigured."
Re:toys with molten metal (Score:5, Insightful)
I remember when my dad first saw me walk into the house a bloody mess and clean myself up, no crying, no help. He was so proud. I think I was six.
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I totally burned the shit out of my thumb when I was a kid, by melting some glass with my dad's propane torch and generally being an idiot.
Dad's propane torch? I bought the home's only propane torch. So I could blow my own laboratory glassware. Molten glass shrapnel from a blowout is oh so much more entertaining.
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When I was a lad (50's/60's) we had a toy where you'd melt some metal (lead? or something with a low melting point anyway) in a little crucible over a burner and pour the result into a mold. It would cool and form a little metal soldier figure, whereupon you'd take the two sides of the mold apart and out it would fall.
I did this with my grandfather in the early 1980s. The molds were his from when he was young, but I'm pretty sure we went and bought the metal in a hobby shop. It definitely had lead in it, but it was some kind of alloy. This was in England, BTW.
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When I was a lad, we didn't have such a toy - we made it ourselves, out of discarded auto batteries. Yeah, that was lead alright. Molds were made from clay, and you used a steel cup or something similar to melt the lead in.
That was late 80s / early 90s. Then again, that wasn't U.S.
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When I was a lad (50's/60's) we had a toy where you'd melt some metal (lead? or something with a low melting point anyway) in a little crucible over a burner and pour the result into a mold. It would cool and form a little metal soldier figure, whereupon you'd take the two sides of the mold apart and out it would fall.
The cast metal hobby ("tin soldiers") is still very much alive.
The starter kit will cost about $25-$50. The Dunken Company [dunken.com]
The difference is that - like many thiings - it has become an adult hobby. The molds will set you back about $20 each for a 54mm WWII soldier. These are substantial high-quality miniatures meant for hand painting.
"Model Metal" about 300 F. "Tin" 485 F.
I'd rather not lived in the kind of dumbed down idiot-proof world that comes from trying to save people from themselves. That's a surefire way to breed more idiots.
Lamarckism, I see, is alive and well in the geek.
I used to shoot metal pellets... (Score:3, Insightful)
Now they're worried about foam darts. Not to mention the velocity difference.
One of the worst articles I've ever seen on /. (Score:5, Insightful)
Many of the toys on this list aren't very dangerous. I'd go as far as saying that a pencil is more dangerous than every single one of them. I can't fathom why this article appeared on this website.
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Agreed, It is a sad reflection of our cotton-wrapped world that this list constitutes even one persons idea of dangerous toys.
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I'd go as far as saying that a pencil is more dangerous than every single one of them.
Agreed. Which is why we should ban them from our classrooms. [kqed.org]
(Note that the above link is not serious. On the other hand, if you read the reasons, these reasons have been used in plenty of other cases...)
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From TFA: Obviously you haven't seen the type of damage two large plastic blocks can cause when kids fall off it because they're trying to play NBA on stilts.
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I can fathom it: 1. viral marketing. 2. Samzenpus
They day samzenpus posts an article that isn't "idle", or sub-idle actually, will be the day that we all have our own personal Nuclear Fusion generators.
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I have absolutely no love lost for companies that turn to cadmium when lead gets too hard to smuggle in to the product, but yeah, most of this is bullshit that we survived and in doing so, we became stronger, smarter, and given slightly reduced depth perception.
Somebody call the police (Score:2)
How are they raising kids these days in the USA? Perpetually strapped into a car seat? I don't see any other way in which you could prevent them from "maiming" themselves with such murderous toys as those. I mean, they could get the hang of climbing stairs!!!11!!11!eleven
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Lame (Score:5, Insightful)
Re:Lame (Score:5, Informative)
I agree, I RTFA, most of the stuff isn't even dangerous (as far as I consider dangerous) and some of the other stuff should (or is) recalled for being either badly constructed or using certain (what should be illegal) chemicals.
Trampoline - who never used a trampoline? Just because the lingo is lawyer-proof doesn't make it a bad toy.
Foam-shooting Bow - As with any shooting toys (Nerf comes to mind) kids should be thought how to use it well. I made freaking real bows by soaking hard wood tree branches in water, some rope and a couple of my mother's plant-straightening bamboo sticks as arrows. Yeah, I bruised and cut my fingers and hands several times either making the bow or shooting the arrow with it's sharp edges and it was inaccurate as shit but I didn't aim to kill anyone. Are kids really that stupid these days?
Plastic sword - Same as the bow or a baseball bat. You learn real quickly that these things hurt if you get hit yourself. Several wooden sword fights with my brother and other kids made that clear to me.
Very low stilts - How is that dangerous? You can fall and hit your head or twist your ankle but that's how kids learn. You want to tie them down to a chair so they'll die of boredom?
Shrinky dinks - What's dangerous about a heating chamber? Those things zapping anyone how exactly? Unless there's some really shoddy engineering and the wires are exposed inside I don't understand. A halogen light bulb is hot. I touched one before. A stove exhaust pipe is hot, found out when standing too close to it trying to heat up in winter.
Playmobil - Make it illegal with huge fines to make products with such chemicals intended for kids. Not slap-of-the-wrist pay this $500k settlement so everyone gets a $1 coupon on their next purchase but "the families affected will own 30% of your company if you fuck up".
Swiss army weapon - You're a moron. Couldn't find anything dangerous after 4?
Re:Lame (Score:4)
Not slap-of-the-wrist pay this $500k settlement so everyone gets a $1 coupon on their next purchase but "the families affected will own 30% of your company if you fuck up".
In my opinion a huge fine (for example, combined income of the product sold in the country + some fixed amount) that goes to the government is better. The families affected should only receive compensation for the actual damage (treatment costs etc), so that nobody gets the idea of deliberately exposing their child to those toys with those chemicals (hmm, this toy has lead and cadmium, probably the company will get fined soon) just so they could profit from it.
There would probably be less microwaved dogs if the owner of the dog only got the money for a new dog (or however you determine the financial loss of a dog dying) and not $100k because the user manual of the microwave does not state that you shouldn't put a live dog in it, unless you intend to kill it.
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I'm still not convinced the article wasn't a sarcastic commentary on how stupidly safe toys have become.
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No these are the biggest risks that our children face today. Seriously all the other toys on the market are not remotely as dangerous as these. I will know now to keep my kids away from these to further ensure their safety.
Mind you I don't have time to go christmas shopping because I need to supervise my kid at all times so he can't attempt to stand up. I haven't received my critical child protective equipment yet [thudguard.com] and I'll be damned if I let him do something as dangerous as try and stand up without it!
- A c
So let me get this straight... (Score:3, Interesting)
trampolines, plastic bow and arrows, etc. are deadly, but rifles and shotguns are okay for children?
http://www.crickett.com/ [crickett.com]
Only in America
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You got me all excited thinking Crickett had a kid's shotgun. Tease.
My daughter loves her Pink Crickett. Although, US law does require that, technically, I own it until she's 21.
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Re:So let me get this straight... (Score:5, Insightful)
Guns are lots of fun, you just have to respect that they're inherently dangerous objects. Kids who grew up with guns are, in my experience, a lot less likely to do stupid stuff with them, because their dad took them out when they were six and blew a watermelon into a fine mist with one and said "that's what it will do to your head". Those who meet guns for the first time at 19-20 are a lot more cavalier.
Re:So let me get this straight... (Score:5, Insightful)
To tell you the truth... yes. Go look up some casualty statistics for yourself. It's not unusual to see rather young kids walking around carrying their own rifles when up in hunting country. And yet accidents are exceptionally rare.
Now, if rifles shot candy 90% of the time, and live ammo 10% of the time, you'd have a real point... There's a big difference when you're talking about a dangerous tool, versus a toy that is supposed to be safe, but which sometimes does maim (or kill) when used (at least mostly...) as instructed.
If this is falling on deaf ears, and "gun" is just a scary word to you, many parents also give their kids knives, matches/lighters, hatchets, axes, etc., etc. at fairly early ages. If you're still aghast at the very idea, all I can say is that life in rural areas just doesn't resemble life in the city, and kids learning how to be responsible and take care of themselves at an early age is actually a good thing. You're worried about the kid innocently walking around carrying his hunting rifle, I'd be more worried about the kid without one, walking through bear and cougar territory.
With the majority of people living in cities, and the ratio only rising, I can't help but wonder what's being lost. On the other hand, absolutely everybody moving out to the country would be devastating, so it's actually a good thing for the rest of it.
Conkers (Score:5, Interesting)
Probably not so popular on the other side of the atlantic, but here in Britain, every october is conker season, where we attach horse chessnuts (invariably hardened by baking, soaking in vinegar, hand cream, galvanisation, you name it) to string, then smash them into an opponent's conker (or your own elbow if you miss) until one shatters into many pieces. If you drop it, you have to try to pick it up while your opponent repeatedly stamps on it. Joy and safety goggles all round!
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Re:Conkers (Score:5, Funny)
A tradition first brought over in 1066 by William the Conker.
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there should be a way to temporarily ban people from posting due to poor jokes :-)
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We did that with pencils. I'm sure our parents loved us for it too.
Little Clara Cadmium (Score:5, Funny)
New! From China, it's little Clara Cadmium. Lick her tummy and hear her giggle. Feed her led pellets and watch her gain weight. Realistic BPA-based skin is soft to the touch. Just $9.99. Turn the price upside down and learn little Clara's secret.
Dangerous toys (Score:3)
I used to have a set of Clackers in the mid 70's, nailed myself in the head once, smashed a finger or two but it wasn't long before the novelty wore off. Even had a set of steel tipped Yard Darts, never had an accident. Perhaps the coolest toy I ever had were the electrified versions of Hot Wheels called Sizzlers. You plugged them into a charging station that held four "D" cell batteries, was shaped like a gas pump and held the top button down for 60 seconds (I always held it down for two or three minutes), unplugged them, turned the power switch on the bottom of the car and raced them on a track...
Ahhh, memories..
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You must be that same age as me! I had Clackers and Sizzlers - loved them both - but I used my clackers as a sort of bolos weapon (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bolas) - I used to fling them at posts, poles, small trees and occasionally the dog.
Sizzlers rocked!! I took mine apart and taped a 9-volt battery to the roof and wired it to the motor. That made them go like a bat out of hell!
The classics are still the best (Score:3)
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And let's not forget the the magical electro-bunny! [adultswim.com].
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Do not taunt happy fun ball.
http://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/happy-fun-ball/229058/ [nbc.com]
For those about to shop (Score:5, Funny)
For the record, "Dangerous Toys" was the name of my '80s hair band. We disbanded in 1991 after our second album, titled Jarts in my Heart. We reunited in 2000 for a world tour, but we had to abandon it when my hernia started acting up and the bass player's hair plugs got infected. I told him it was gonna happen if he didn't wash his bandanna a little bit more often, but you know how bass players are. We used to know which way the stage was slanted by which side of his mouth had the drool coming out. You know what you do if your bass players drowning? Throw him his amp. How do you tell if the bass player's out of tune? You don't.
Anyway, I'd still be playing with them if they just made spandex tights in a relaxed fit. These days, I need a skosh more room in the seat and waist if I'm going to do the jumping in the air splits while windmilling chords on my Dimebag Darrell Signature three-pickup 7 string guitar, which I could totally still do. But not in these tights. That ship has sailed. Nowadays, I just take them out on the odd night when the classic rock station is playing a Get the Led Out commercial-free album set of Houses of the Holy.
Clackers (Score:2)
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They did teach coordination. :-)
Mine (Score:4, Funny)
Dangerous Toy? My new BMW M3.
The tone of this article is ill-suited for /. (Score:2)
only three known deaths due to Jarts in the USA (Score:5, Insightful)
Clackers (Score:2)
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The idea of these toys being dangerous is rediculous.
Want a dangerous toy?
Here's one. Sort of a cross between child of chucky and disney fantasy, to create a truly diabolical toy:
the cabbage patch 'snacktime kid' doll! [sampa.com]
This toy, in its original incarnation, had a one way only electric motor which turned a textured cylender inside the doll's mouth, which would activate if something (anything) was inside it. Fingers? OM NOM NOM! Hair? OM NOM NOM! Bits of earlobe and other bits of tender skin? OM NOM NOM!
Ess
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