Raunchy Dance Routine a PR Nightmare For Microsoft 322
theodp writes "GeekWire reports on the techno-dance routine that preceded Microsoft's Windows Azure presentation at the Norwegian Developers Conference this week, which featured a group of women jumping around on stage to a song that included several drug references and the line: 'The words MICRO and SOFT don't apply to my penis.' In a strange effort to be inclusive, a monitor displaying the lyrics added, 'or vagina.' The official Windows Azure YouTube channel has posted an apology for 'a skit that involved inappropriate and offensive elements and vulgar language,' and said it's actively looking into the matter. Hey, could've been worse — at least @ASUS wasn't live-tweeting the event!"
Or Vagina? (Score:5, Funny)
'The words MICRO and SOFT don't apply to my penis.' In a strange effort to be inclusive, a monitor displaying the lyrics added, 'or vagina.'
What in the hell is an "or vagina"? Is that new hardware slang for an OR gate?
Re: (Score:2)
At least they had the good sense not to Streisand it.
Re:Or Vagina? (Score:4, Insightful)
PS: I think I was more offended by the vertical iPhone recording than the content.
Re:Or Vagina? (Score:5, Funny)
Nothing sexier than a big, hard vagina. I'm moving to Norway.
Re:Or Vagina? (Score:5, Funny)
Norway is obviously the ancient home of the Clitorati. They only recently resurfaced thanks to the diligent efforts of the world's most dedicated Microsoft evangelists.
Re:Or Vagina? (Score:4, Insightful)
Revised retraction (Score:5, Funny)
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Re:Or Vagina? (Score:5, Funny)
'The words MICRO and SOFT don't apply to my penis.' In a strange effort to be inclusive, a monitor displaying the lyrics added, 'or vagina.'
What in the hell is an "or vagina"? Is that new hardware slang for an OR gate?
Well, Micro and Soft would be ideal for a vagina.
Re:Or Vagina? (Score:5, Funny)
Protip: They are quite stretchy
Spoiler: That is where babies come from
Re:Or Vagina? (Score:5, Funny)
I'm not sure the words "pro," "tip," and "spoil" are going to produce the best visual in this context.
Re:Or Vagina? (Score:4, Funny)
Those, or that sig of yours.
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Well played, sir. Well played.
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if(P || V){
if(P && V){
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What in the hell is an "or vagina"? Is that new hardware slang for an OR gate?
Maybe it's Microsoft's new OR-V framework: Object Relational Vagina (ORV)
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Or perhaps object relational genitalia (ORG), requiring almost no CPU power and only selective memory.
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Or possibly Visual Vagina 9.
Only pussies use it.
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Is that new hardware slang for an OR gate?
I read that as a Perl colloquialism for error detection, you know, like:
open blah blah blah OR croak 'could not open the Fing file sorry bout that';
No I have no idea what it means in context of the microsoft show to have that as your error detection routine.
Maybe its time for a (bad) joke about ReiserFS error handling code involving executing one? (hey no complaining, I warned you it was a bad joke first)
Official Stance (Score:5, Funny)
Microsoft's official stance: If you aren't sure what something is, Bing(tm) it. Go to your XBox 360 with Kinnect and shout proudly "XBOX BING OR VAGINA".
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Re:Damage control (Score:5, Interesting)
Microsoft already seems to be doing some kind of damage control because I cannot share this link on facebook. Facebook tells me I'm trying to share a blocked link...
What happened to the good old days? (Score:5, Funny)
I Love This Company!
Re:What happened to the good old days? (Score:5, Funny)
developers, Developers, DEVELOPERS, DEVELOPERS
or vagina
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The best comment I've see so far.
or vagina
Re:What happened to the good old days? (Score:5, Funny)
or vagina.
Re:What happened to the good old days? (Score:5, Funny)
damn I never have a mod point when I need one
or vagina
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They Should Just Accept It and Go Full Awkward (Score:4, Funny)
developers, Developers, DEVELOPERS, DEVELOPERS ?
Since all their attempts just result in complete awkwardness, I know that Tim & Eric sometimes do product skits (like this board game [youtube.com]) and I think that Microsoft should just go full intended awkward and hire Tim & Eric. That way nobody can make fun of them for being awkward and, like, twenty years from now they will be seen as doing comedy WAY ahead of its time.
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I think that Microsoft should just go full intended awkward and hire Tim & Eric.
Then people will just start bashing them for repeatedly hiring comedians who haven't done anything funny in years (or ever) to make commercials that aren't funny.
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As I understand it, the dance routine, music, girls and words were supplied by the NDC, not Microsoft - they were apparently quite surprised when it happened!
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vagina, Vagina, VAGINA, VAGINA!
I love this company!
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I couldn't finish the video because it was so funny! I am still chuckling in a bad way as I type this. Embarrassment humour always makes me laugh, yet wince in sympathy at the same time, I can only take so much before I'm uncomfortable. This is so awkward, uncool and hilariously 40-year old virgin stupid I just cannot
OBLIGATORY CONSPIRACY THEORY: I think it was an epic troll by someone who doesn't like Microsoft, maybe someone from nearby Finland let go because of Nokia's "restructuring"?
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Why didn't they just hire Jerry Seinfeld?
Re:What happened to the good old days? (Score:4, Funny)
...at least not in public where everyone can see you.
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No, not at all. There's nothing wrong with gratuitous raunchiness in general, but if it's used for marketing, then it's sleazy.
Re:What happened to the good old days? (Score:5, Interesting)
If he sold off his shares, then I might believe you were anything but a piss-poor Troll. But he hasn't.
Funny you [huffingtonpost.com] should [techflash.com] mention [dailyfinance.com] that [smartcompany.com.au].
I'd say that Billy has been selling off Microsoft shares as fast as he possibly can without people noticing too much.
So whoever modded this +1, kindly go unfuck yourself before attempting further moderation.
Ah yes. I think we know why you don't have mod points.
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huh? (Score:4, Interesting)
Sorry.. was that a Loiter Squad skit?
I can't see any way that as not meant as an intentional parody.
Either way, or the writer was on drugs.
Oh yeah, it's the latter. Never mind.
Childish (Score:5, Insightful)
And the word "maturity" and "adulthood" don't seem to apply to your brain either.
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If growing up means I can't laugh at a bad/dirty joke then count me out.
poophead!
Jezus Fucking Puritans. (Score:5, Informative)
But that dance routine WAS a disaster.
Also, that's not Techno.
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TFA was written by Todd Bishop, one of the founders of GeekWire. Apparently, he thought it was all perfectly scandalous. He must not get out much.
If he has any connection to the Brownists, it would be at least ten generations back.
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Cheese. The heavily processed type that comes in individually wrapped slices that are barely distinguishable from the plastic they are wrapped in. The choreography is of similar quality to the music. I can only guess that the product they're promoting is along the same lines. Nice example of how the bungled efforts of one small regional office can completely wreck your global product launch.
Anyone else remember Microsoft Mambo #5? (Score:5, Funny)
I remember when they rolled out the Microsoft Mambo #5, it was so bad I had to leave the room so I wouldn't laugh in front of the customers. I don't know who thought this was a good idea, but they should be dragged to death behind a truck.
Microsoft and music (Score:5, Funny)
I always thought that Microsoft made bad choices for music. For Windows 95 they used the Rolling Stones' Start Me Up, which contains the lyrics :
If you start me up
If you start me up I'll never stop
Which was fine for an adv. campaign, but then the next line always seemed weird for Microsoft to want to associate with:
You make a grown man cry
Yet in hindsight was amazingly prophetic in the context of Win95 .
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i know its been almost 20 years but in those days that little circle in the bottom left of the desktop was a rectangle with the word Start on it. Windows 95 was the first time the Start button saw the light of day and was a big deal in GUI development at the time.
which is why they used that Stones song
Re:Microsoft and music (Score:5, Funny)
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XP theme song (Score:4, Informative)
For Windows XP they picked Madonna's "Ray of Light". I came up with better lyrics than the stock ones [homeunix.net].
Gotta admit, though, after maybe 5 years XP became nearly tolerable. For playing games, at least.
Any bigger PR nightmare? (Score:5, Interesting)
It could be worse. I discovered a famous furniture company's name means "ass" in Swedish from some engineers who couldn't stop laughing whenever they would see these boxes everywhere. I couldn't find it in the dictionary so it must be colloquial.
I wonder is there a way to search whether a made up brand name matches any word colloquial or not in any of the mainstream languages?
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Funnier yet, in 1990, Perdue Chicken had a marketing problem in Japan. Their logo, "We sell fresh chicken" got translated by someone who had been away from the day to day culture of Japan. It came across as "It takes a strong man to make chickens fresh". Moreover, the choice of the words strong and fresh had a sexual connotation. Apparently, this commercial had the Japanse rolling around on the floor laughing i
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The nova story makes no sense, as an almost native speaker of Spanish, I'd never read "Nova" as "no va", yet alone use "no va" instead on "no marcha" or "no anda" when referring to a car. But I can provide you with an alternative myth: The Mitsubishi Pajero is sold around here as "Montero" (maybe in the US, too?) because "pajero" is a pejorative term that could be translated as "wanker" in Spanish (or at least some dialects thereof).
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You just go out and buy a Honda Fitta and drive through Scandinavia!
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I just HAD to look this up. The Fitta's slogan was going to be "small on the outside, big on the inside."
Re:Any bigger PR nightmare? (Score:5, Funny)
Quite - and Brits must never inform any Americans a colleague has just nipped out for a quick fag down the back alley, no matter how accurate and innocent it sounds to them.
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Americans laugh at commercials of the Nads [nads.com] hair removal product from Australia.
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=nads [urbandictionary.com]
Re:Any bigger PR nightmare? (Score:4, Funny)
Oh we Aussies understand nads all right. But the product was named after the founder's daughter Nadine, apparently.
Never been to a women's sporting contest? You'll hear fans cheering Go-Nads and Go-Anna. :-)
We also shorten Adrian --> Aids
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That's Asplundh.
I see Microsoft's judgment about what users want.. (Score:2)
extends all the way down to their presentations. What 20-something newly minted "manager" was responsible for that, I wonder?
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If your name is associated with it you have something to do with it. Or at least partially responsible.
The fact that didn't pay attention isn't an excuse. Their name will be associated with this because it was part of their event.
The harder they try (Score:5, Insightful)
The harder Microsoft tries to look cool, the more they look like awkward social retards staring at their feet in the corner of the highschool dance. I'm hard pressed to think of a company with a worse public image -- aside from Haliburton and PG&E, who actually kill people to achieve profit.
Re:The harder they try (Score:5, Funny)
I disagree with you regarding the particular kind of misfit they come across as.
In my mind, Microsoft is a stodgy, big company representing most of the evils of old men corrupted by wealth. They use patents and lobbyists to lock out competitors, they screw of customers and business partners, they belong to the BSA, etc.
So to me, it would like Mr. Burns [wikipedia.org] from the Simpsons paid for the high-school prom, and then demanded all students stand around him to watch him do a Dirty Dancing version of the Charleston [wikipedia.org].
it's better than balmer (Score:2)
not very good though.
sounds like scooter, but 100x worse. why couldn't they just steal some nice chiptune.
And this was at work. (Score:2)
I think that I speak for everyone when I say, (Score:5, Insightful)
Meh....
Lame lyrics and where's the raunchy dance? :D
Geekwire needs to check up on the state of music videos these days(the uncensored versions). Or maybe not, it will give them a heartattack.
I click on a link for a "raunchy dance routine"... (Score:4, Insightful)
And I get this? Come on, that looked like routine from my junior high talent show, but not as raunchy. This is more blatant headline sensationlism by Slashdot!
But I do so love the ESL lyrics.
Blue Jeans on Fire!
Chevrolet, Elvis!
Blue jeans on fire!
New York, let's go!
Don't put the hipster in charge of presentations (Score:5, Interesting)
Every incident like this I've ever been involved with usually began with a staff meeting where everyone thought it would be a great idea to be young and hip by putting the young and hip guy in charge of some presentation. And it usually ended with said young and hip guy explaining why he honestly thought that having someone sing a rendition of "Cop Killer" to a backdrop of nude dancers would be appropriate for a presentation of of the company's annual shareholders' report.
Leave the musical numbers for the Oscars and the comedy skits for SNL. They already do them bad enough without you trying too.
Re:Don't put the s/hip/young/ in charge (Score:2)
I think this could be replaced with just "Don't put the young/new person in charge of spicing things up". Hipster is a bit of a charged word, and I think there are plenty that others wouldn't think of as hipsters who would still make this sort of mistake (e.g. recently-graduated frat-bros who used to set up skits that pushed the edge of racism).
Watched some (Score:4, Funny)
Didn't think it was all that bad. Sure it hurt my ears, but didn't touch my delicate sensibilities.
I always thought (Score:2)
Macrohard would be a good name for a fishing goods company
An observation I thought would never find relevance, except now
YesMen (Score:2)
That sounds like they got caught by a trap laid out by the YesMen. They probably set up an event organizing company as a storefront and waited till someone hired them to pull of that stunt.
Either that, or Monty Python.
Tired of this (Score:5, Insightful)
You know what's immature? The fact that we as a culture seem ok with glorifying violence against people, killing and maiming them, but when you use the word "penis" then OMG! horrible! It's not natural Bullshit.
The world would be a happier, healthier place if we just stood up against this nonsense and admit that sex is fine, fun, and healthy. Seriously, who made that headline? Other than a stupid song with some dumb lyrics, who cares? Sure, it doesn't really get across what MS wants, but a "PR Nightmare"? Give me a break.
It's headlines like these that keep perpetuating the controlling and immature notion that sexuality is a sin, punishable by censure or banishment from society. If MS had used a video of the paperclip smacking around then crushing an apple that oozes blood it wouldn't be appropriate but would it be a "PR Nightmare"?
Re:Tired of this (Score:4, Insightful)
Sex IS fine, fun and healthy but I don't want to hear about sex organs in a damn song and/or at a business conference.
Mostly because its a poor low-brow excuse for real entertainment because its based only on cheap shock value, which doesn't actually work because I'm not even slightly shocked anyway.
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It's not the vulgarity that's offensive. It's the complete lack of any sense of humor. Genuine funniness absolves all.
Awkward... (Score:5, Informative)
I haven't seen something like that since the time my company accidentally hired strippers for our Vegas-themed Christmas party.
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I haven't seen something like that since the time my company accidentally hired strippers for our Vegas-themed Christmas party.
That's tame compared to the party [businessinsider.com] that Munich Re threw for it's top "performers" back in 2007. They had pre-paid prostitutes who kept track of the number of "uses" with stamps with everything happening in a large communal steam bath. What happens in Vegas may stay in Vegas, but even Vegas couldn't throw a party like that. If Vegas want's to compete with other gambling destinations, they will need to dial up the debauchery or risk losing their "sin city" reputation to other more worthy contenders.
There are no PR nightmares (Score:3)
Only PR.
You are talking about Microsoft, mission complete.
Terrible! (Score:4, Insightful)
I'm only offended by how bad the song was. If you watch the video you can hear the crowd's indifference to the whole thing, except for one person sort of laughing at the "joke". The whole thing was pretty lame and ham-handed, which just made the use of vulgarity more notable, like when your dad tells a "dirty" joke to your friends and it's just a bad joke. It makes it way more uncomfortable.
Re:OH MY GAWD !!! HE SAID PENIS (Score:5, Insightful)
As an American I am only offended that the girls weren't hotter and the dance wasn't more sexy.
The words to the "song.." well, I can only say this: "Non Native Speaker."
Non-Native Insight (Score:5, Informative)
Actually, we speak English just fine here [in Norway], even though it's a second language for most. English is after all a close cousin of the Scandinavian languages, Dutch and German. It's closer to "native" than you would think.
I'm sorry to say we have no excuse for this silly little song, other than that we have a different culture and couldn't care less about offending "sensitive" foreigners :)
I haven't heard the song itself, but you might want to consider the fact that we also like to intentionally create songs that make a mockery of both our languages. It's called parody. Things are not always what they appear to be ;)
Re: (Score:2)
Or vagina.
Re:Non-Native Insight (Score:5, Interesting)
I'm sorry to say we have no excuse for this silly little song, other than that we have a different culture and couldn't care less about offending "sensitive" foreigners :)
And you shouldn't. But as an American, I'm wondering where all these sensitive American are? Who are these prigs who are offended by this? I couldn't care less about it either? We're in an industry composed mostly of men...I get a feeling this is something that the MS PR department alone is freaking out about...because some little old church lady might see this and get offended and...what?...start using Linux?!?!? I don't know.
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My point was that nobody is complaining about this. It's the MS PR department trying to cater to the lowest
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Geek men ARE bad at this. Yes, it's bad in sales departments and with stock brokers I'm sure. But so what? Shouldn't we try not to act like we're in junior high and have a higher standard? Maybe we want more women in the field instead of making them feel uncomfortable? And yes they are uncomfortable, there are lots of blogs out there from women in the field (they do exist) complaining about this stuff. Maybe growing a thicker skin is necessary but we should be able to reduce the need for that over tim
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Re:Non-Native Insight (Score:4, Insightful)
You merely do a fine job of imitating native speakers. As a native speaker of English, along with those of every other native speaker my utterances define English. Of course, the reverse is true for me of Norwegian and all the many many other languages of which I'm not a native speaker.
Language is actually a lot more malleable and dynamic than you suggest.
As a native, your utterance of words define English only to the extent that you're influential enough that your peers pick up and parrot these words. I can utter the word "toaurznuok", but if only a handful of relatives understand what it means and we stick to using it between ourselves, it doesn't enter the English language -- it's merely part of our local dialect.
As a non-native, your utterance of words can also define English, whether you're speaking English with an approximative accent, your native language, or an odd mix of the two. Thus, words like tomato or avocado, which originate from Nahuatl (tomatl and huacatl respectively). Or words such as beef (from boeuf, as uttered at the dinner table by the initially French-speaking British royalty) vs cow (as in Kuh, its not-so-distant German cousin). About 30% of English words are of French origin [wikipedia.org].
Adding to this, and you'll excuse my tease, most Americans do not speak a foreign language at all, and those that do (bar first- or second-generation immigrants) generally have the mother-of-all accents.
Re:WTF would Apple do? (Score:5, Funny)
Apple would have girls that were actually sexy.
Re:WTF would Apple do? (Score:5, Funny)
Apple would have girls that were actually sexy.
With rounded corners, of course ;-)
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Re:WTF woudl Apple Do? (Score:3)
I see you have never been to an Apple store.
I actually had the misfortune to need to go to one in my local mall, when my work Mac Book Pro's hard drive died under warranty.
Two things stuck out:
1) they had easily twice as many blue-shirts as customers, which sure made them look a lot busier than they really were.
2) they had somehow gotten two uniformed, armed police officers to stand as full-time guards in the store. I really appreciate this expenditure of my local tax dollars, knowing that they are vigilantly watching over Apple's goods. Certainly
Re:WTF woudl Apple Do? (Score:4, Informative)
You salute the uniform. (Score:5, Interesting)
You know how members of the military show genuine respect for some idiot that outranks them?
Because when you salute, you're not saluting the man, you're saluting "the uniform," the office the man holds, not the man. It's kind of a dodge, I'll grant you, but one I think works.
The badge works the same way. I'll follow an officer's instructions in public not because he's a great guy, but because he holds a public office We the People have invested with authority. It's the badge that's important, not the man.
When I was in college, I worked at a very large and successful tourist trap restaurant and bar at a site of great natural beauty. The owner hired two sheriff's deputies for security. In return for hanging out on the weekends and hitting on the waitstaff, the owner provided those two deputies with half of their takehome pay and just a whole lot of booze.
It didn't take long for the corruption to set in. The owner was getting those deputies money, alcohol and sex and sure enough, they very quickly became his personal pet deputies. I saw people get arrested for very little more than "Contempt of Owner," while the DUI patrols that used to hover around the restaraunt mysteriously evaporated.
It's a pretty simple principle. The badge should not be available for rent or sale. Private money should not buy public authority. Doing so is called "Bribery." Our Law Enforcement Officers need to avoid even the appearance of favoritism or bias, and thus should not be taking money from people thay may one day be called upon to testify against or arrest.
If this means we need to pay our LEOs a living wage, so be it.
Re:WTF would Apple do? (Score:5, Funny)
The good news is the Apple girls would be multi touch enabled, the bad news is only one "button" to play with even if the world standard has always been to ship with two. And they'd be shiny, very shiny.
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WWDC starts soon. Maybe you'll get your wish.
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do you cry while you masturbate alone at night, bitter internet puke?
I used to, but thankfully your mum is doing cheap webcam shows for me now.
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This fits Microsoft's perennially pathetic marketing and PR to a T. They're like the clueless geek, always trying too hard to be cool, never succeeding.
Wait. Are you insulting or complimenting them? This is Slashdot, you know. I flatter myself that I have more sense of geeky things than of fashion and hipness.
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You mean the General Services Administration. Unless there's another scandal we should know about. . .
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No second scandal ( yet.....LOL ), my mistake
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