New Reality Series: Be the Next Microsoft Employee 168
theodp writes "No, Steve Ballmer doesn't swap spit with contestants in a hot tub. Nor does he present a rose to each contestant he wishes to keep at the end of each episode. But the contestants in Microsoft's Be the Next Microsoft Employee web series, which is being billed as Top Chef for Geeks, do live together in a luxury waterfront home as they compete for the chance to interview for a job with the software giant. So, what's next from Microsoft? The Real Housewives of Medina?"
O, Hell No! I'm GETTIN that interview! (Score:5, Funny)
Any of you skinny bitches stands in my way better be ready for some hair pullin!!
Re:O, Hell No! I'm GETTIN that interview! (Score:5, Funny)
So Mr. Anderson, you say you want to work for us. I only have one question:
How well can you dodge chairs?
Re:O, Hell No! I'm GETTIN that interview! (Score:5, Insightful)
It doesn't matter how well he can dodge chairs; he just has to aim for a team where everybody else is worse at it because Microsoft operates is the type of nightmare employer which operates forced ranking [vanityfair.com]. Also, being with the stupidest people is probably your best chance of getting someone intelligent to teach you something since only the suicidal would teach someone in their own team. Ideally you are looking for a team of stupid people with a recently changed, decent, intelligent manager.
Having said that, the best thing about winning this would be the pleasure of being able to say "no thanks"
Re:O, Hell No! I'm GETTIN that interview! (Score:5, Interesting)
Having said that, the best thing about winning this would be the pleasure of being able to say "no thanks"
I got that pleasure in 1999, when I got my degree. Microsoft called my house asking if I would be interested in interviewing, and I got to say, "No, I don't work for evil companies."
The caller genuinely didn't understand why Microsoft is evil, so I got to tell her she needs to pay more attention. It was quite the pleasant experience. I wish more people could share the experience.
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Stack Ranking as entertainment.
If people think that a career in Microsoft is a prize, then they are in for a surprise.
Emulating "The Real World" and a "Reality TV" meme that peaked 5 years ago is indicative that Ballmer's Microsoft is still woefully clueless - on top of being bloa
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Donald Trump isn't necessarily the next messiah, but The Apprentice was still an interesting and entertaining show.
This could still be interesting, even if done for the wrong reasons.
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There's plenty of decent employers out there. There's a reason I left things like 'Treasurer, Young Democratic Socialists' on my resume when I was at my college career fair -- if they didn't want to hire me for it, I didn't want to work for them. And you know what? When I got around to companies I actually would want to work for...those things helped. They cared about leadership experience more than they cared about what it was with. Now I'm consulting for a fortune 500, good salary, good benefits, good wor
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No, you don't. Employers want IT workers who fit a very narrow field. Being someone who can go from dealing with Oracle to Microsoft to HP to SAP to [insert whomever] products is not what they are looking for. They want you to know Oracle, and that's it. They want you to know SAP, and that's it. They want you to know government contracting.
Th
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Tata Consultancy Services. They're definitely hiring, across the country (of the people recruited with me we had people going to clients in RI, NJ, TX, CA, OH, and I think a few other states.) They were going so far as to hire electrical engineers for software development positions...but then again, that was for recent college grads. Of the three people who just joined my client site though, one of three was a lateral hire who'd been working in automotive software development. This client is in the retail d
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98% on-time delivery, $10+ billion annual revenue, was still growing and giving raises here in the US even in the worst part of the recession, and while I can't mention some of our clients, they do include EA, HP, Cisco, Microsoft, and several other fortune 500s...so they must be doing something right.
And I mean you do have to actually be capable of doing the job -- I'm not saying they're going to throw someone who's never seen a programming language straight into a developer position. But they train you, a
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"There's a HUGE deficit of IT workers in this country..."
If there is (and I don't think there is as huge a deficit as you say), then there is a simple, workable, market-based answer for that: PAY THEM MORE MONEY.
That's how "supply and demand" works: if there is a shortage of supply (and therefore a high demand), the goods you are short of (whether copper, peaches, or coders) cost more.
It's simple. And it works.
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Compared with which field is IT underpaid? Boosting salaries will only help if there are enough people who would be great developers but are currently choosing to work in other fields because IT doesn't pay well enough. I would think salary is a much better tool for poaching employees from other companies than for enticing qualified people into the field in the first place.
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Well, if you dropped out of highschool, got a GED and went to work at the port of oakland as a laborer in ten years you could clear 100k after union dues.
The average programmer takes home less than that. (The labors went on strike because the programmers working for the port were replacing laborers and getting paid half as much.)
If you want to hear about how underpaid programmers are track down Jim Clark and ask him if he thinks programmers are adequately compensated.
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"Boosting salaries will only help if there are enough people who would be great developers but are currently choosing to work in other fields because IT doesn't pay well enough."
My point was that long-term, since free markets generally work over a period of at least several years, if you pay programmers well, then the field will attract more programmers.
That is the way it works, with renewable commodities like people anyway. When there's a shortage, they are more valuable, so they get paid more. Higher pay attracts more people to the job. The market equalizes.
The problem is that in recent years corporations have seemed to want quality people, but want to pay them shit wages.
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My point was that long-term, since free markets generally work over a period of at least several years, if you pay programmers well, then the field will attract more programmers.
It did, in 80's and early, pre-dotcom 90's. So it attracted a huge number of charlatans and frauds who heard that they can get an easy, high-paying job writing stuff in Visual Basic. And then the whole software industry went to shit.
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"It did, in 80's and early, pre-dotcom 90's. So it attracted a huge number of charlatans and frauds who heard that they can get an easy, high-paying job writing stuff in Visual Basic. And then the whole software industry went to shit."
I was around the whole time, and I don't see it that way at all. Visual Basic was a great (if pretty slow) platform for desktop apps. But it also made it easy to create sloppy, slapdash apps. That much I will give you.
But there were also better tools, like Delphi, which kicked Visual Basic's ass in just about every measure. But of course you needed to know some OO in order to really take advantage of it. In other words, it was geared more toward the "real programmer".
But the dot-com bust had NOTHING t
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Having said that, the best thing about winning this would be the pleasure of being able to say "no thanks"
You almost made me want to move to the states and participate. Almost...
And yes, I know full well how stack ranking destroys morale. I briefly worked at a company that used that system, got berated at my first review because I ranked near the bottom. The next month, I shot up to #1 with a huge lead over the next guy, and stayed there until they shuttered our regional office, a few years later. Sure, I was really good at what I did, but I had not changed the quality of my work, nor was I cheating in any
Stack ranking is pretty common in big companies... (Score:2)
It's happened with all the big companies I've worked for. It does suck. It sucked for me because I had hand-picked my team and built it up. So I effectively argued that I didn't have any weak memebers, and I won that argument. The idea is that there should be a percentage OVERALL that is stacked. And the idea isn't that you just identify those who are weaker to eliminate them, the idea is to then train those people. But it's a paradox, because at some point (in theory) you won't have any bottom percen
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LoB
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If they made you sign a fixed-term contract, then they are bound to it too (which means they hardly ever do that).
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The badges for full time employees, vendors and contractors have differently colored borders; look for "blue badge" here [nytimes.com] or here [cinepad.com]
And coming up next year (Score:5, Funny)
Season two will be titled "Be the last Microsoft employee"
Really??? (Score:5, Funny)
They're going to live together in a luxury waterfront home as they compete for the chance to interview for Microsoft?
I'd rather compete for a chance at North Korean citizenship.
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They're going to live together in a luxury waterfront home as they compete for the chance to interview for Microsoft?
I'd rather compete for a chance at North Korean citizenship.
At least in North Korea you aren't forced to use Windows phones ...
Re:Really??? (Score:5, Insightful)
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Oh man, I wish I had mod points... well done sir.
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... or to eat.
That's the theme of the North Korean game show "Meal or No Meal".
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Or vagina.
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is healthcare included?
#include "suresureifserious.jpg"
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They're going to live together in a luxury waterfront home as they compete for the chance to interview for Microsoft?
I'd rather compete for a chance at North Korean citizenship.
No, no, it's the loser who gets the interview!
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Chairs, probably.
Or... (Score:5, Interesting)
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As long as I was around between core hours 10-4 and did my work, it was all good. It all depends on how flexible your manager is, like pretty much any other company. Some people in the company that I know get to go in around noon and leave at 8. They prefer it that way. Others left the office around 2 or 3 'cause they went in really early.
Spoiler alert (Score:5, Funny)
Episode 3 will feature the chair throwing contest, Episode 4 the run-around-the-stage-like-you-just-snorted-two-lines-of-coke, the final episode will have the remaining contestants try to convince the audience why they prefer the Metro interface on their 3-monitor setup over the regular desktop; the only rule is that they're not allowed to laugh.
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Don't forget...
Sneaking into Apple HQ and steal the most ideas without getting caught.
Most seem-less cover-up of system crash during an on-stage demo.
Number of Word documents that can be written on a Microsoft Surface tablet before running out of battery life.
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I'd rather (Score:2, Insightful)
I'd rather dip my balls in honey and sit down naked on a nest of fire ants. Just sayin'.
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I think that's episode 4.
interview for a job (Score:5, Insightful)
Whoop-tee-do. I could do that without having to compete in a reality series. Just send a flowery resume to land the interview.
This would be more impressive if they were placed as Interns *inside* Microsoft, and competing to impress the boss to be hired permanently.
Re:interview for a job (Score:4, Informative)
I think the point is to get into the reality show. Seems that this alone is good enough for some, to become "famous".
This would be most impressive if they were inside Microsoft competing to get out.
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This would be most impressive if they went all Big Brother and featured a bunch of talentless bimbos trying to get famous by flashing their tits in the hot tub.
Now, reread that sentence without thinking of Steve Ballmer.
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Exactly, these guys have like 15-20 years of experience, and in theory were selected from hundreds of appliants. They could get the job on an interview anytime they wanted to. Now if the job was a top position or something very prestigious i could understand, but that's not the case. The show is just a thinly veiled advertisement with MS products placed in every corner of the screen.
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You don't even have to send a flowery resume. They're cold calling people on linked-in lately. Several times they have found me, I even went on the interview once, just for shits n giggles.
All you have to do is look at the office environment to say "yeah, thanks, but no thanks, I'll try McDonalds"
I've worked at several soulless companies before, I'm no stranger to cubicells, idiotic HR policies and the large amount of doublethink that is required to survive large company management. MS is the worst, you can
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I disagree. My resume is very flowery [linkedin.com], but Microsoft didn't dare to call me ;-)
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Wow... what a lousy prize! (Score:3, Insightful)
Re:Wow... what a lousy prize! (Score:5, Informative)
No, they get a job. The 'chance to interview' was made up by the submitter.
"A shot at finding out," according to Mcrosoft (Score:2)
Be the Next Microsoft Employee: [microsoft.com] "Have you ever wondered what it would be like to work at Microsoft? One of these contestants will have a shot at finding out. Who will be the next Microsoft employee?" IIRC, the video also indicated that this was a shot at, not a guarantee of, a job.
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No, they get the job. Otherwise it would be called 'Be the Next Microsoft Interviewee'. The contest is>/i> the interview.
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What's even mre funny is you didn't even read your own source link which says quite clearly:
And yes, the person who prevails does win a job at Microsoft.
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And yes, the person who prevails does win a job at Microsoft.
That job may be janitor... but still.
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...the person who prevails does win a job...
...
That has to be one of the most depressing unintentional social commentaries I've ever heard...
Read source link, but it's contradicted by MS (Score:2)
Be the Next Microsoft Employee (YouTube) [youtube.com]: "From a field of thousands, 6 contestants will battle it out for an opportunity to interview to be the next Microsoft employee."
So unfair (Score:2)
When I interviewed at Microsoft, I spent most of the time in windowless cubicles. How come I didn't get to see this great waterfront villa? On the other hand, I got the job. Of these contestants, all but one will get nothing but a view of the waterfront. Maybe I got the better deal after all...
Re:So unfair (Score:5, Funny)
Windowless cubicle at Microsoft?
That's too bad. I can't believe they make you run DOS!
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Windowless cubicle at Microsoft?
That's too bad. I can't believe they make you run DOS!
Just be happy that they didn't make you run xenix... That command-line version of unix was so "good" that even though SCO bought it, they eventually threw it away ;^) :^p
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I guess they couldn't fit all the lights and cameras in the basement.
Ballmer fails again... (Score:5, Insightful)
...has tried to make microsoft look sexy for how long? And how come he always tries to do it with stuff over a hundred years old. First he was selling Vista with Seinfeld. And now this. Reality TV must be older than ms-dos 6.0! Who even watches that crap anymore? Certainly not young programmers. This guy wouldn't know sexy if it hit him on the head with a chair. Face it, there is nothing cool about the legacy wintel platform and the company associated with it. Pack your bags and move along.
And don't let me get started on the fact that nobody in their right mind would ever hire the kind of people who go on reality TV shows.
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And then there was the public debut of Windows 95, where they used the song Start Me Up by the Rolling Stones... they conveniently omitted the part that said "You make a grown man cry."
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Maybe the wrong response? (Score:2)
Still, I'll tune in and abuse my Pavlovian conditioning. Haha.
Winners escape (Score:3, Funny)
LOL in this reality TV show the winners are the ones who escape.
There was a cheesy "human hunting" reality TV show awhile back, where dudes in matrix style men in black suits chased contestants around and tried to catch them, it may be something like that. If you didn't get captured in 30 minutes by the MIB then you "won". It was pretty intensely FOX network style, all arguing and yelling instead of cooperating, probably because if the contestants cooperated like a US infantry squad they'd have easily wasted the MIB. I don't recall the name.
The point of the reminisce is getting caught by guys in suits leads to a SERE like cubical environment?
I would watch just to see poor editing, maybe a contestant pulls out a iphone or an android phone. That would be funny.
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Well that was new (seriously) I had my first chrome crash.
No that's not it. The show I watched in the 00s was more urban, like amusement parks, or big cities like NYC, and not Canadian prairie.
Also I literally mean "Men in black" as in dudes in suits on foot, not guy on horse like the promo pics I saw on wikipedia.
Great Discriminator! (Score:2)
I know if I was a software company I'd want to select for the sort of people who would go on a reality TV show. Wait...
Fear Factor (Score:3)
How many bugs can you swallow?
And the theme song is... (Score:4, Funny)
Steve of the Ballmer,
A guy who has no hair.
(Ahhhhhhhh)
Watch out for that chair.
Steve, Steve
Steve of the Ballmer,
Lives a life that's free.
(Ahhhhhhhh)
Watch out for that chair.
When he gets in a scrape,
he makes his escape
with the help of his friend,
a guy named Bill.
Then away he'll schlep
on his elephant Shep
While Fella and Ursula
Stay in step.
Well....Steve, Steve
Steve of the Ballmer,
Friend to you and me.
Watch out for that chair.
First place prize is a one-year contract (Score:2)
Stack Ranking (Score:5, Insightful)
Contestants rate each other on tasks, filling mandatory slots from most valuable to least valuable, with the bottom 10% being fired Backstabbing and politcking ensue between the contestants as they fight tooth and nail not to be dumped down the bottom, while forgetting entirely about the task at hand and just half-assing it finished.
Perfectly preparing them for the working environment at MS...
I'd do it, if (Score:2)
that job was CEO.
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My first task as the new CEO: Replace everyone's laptops with MacBook Airs!
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That brings up a good points. Is this just a "job"? Or is it a position where you actually get to be inventive?
to sum the posts thus far... (Score:2)
As old as it is, they'd still have a more popular show if they had a competition to become a developer at Blizzard for World of Wa
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Besides, Top Chef For Geeks was Good Eats. Alton Brown regularly explained the science behind cooking.
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You're right.
Now if the reality show was to land a job at Blizzard for Diablo 3, all they'd get are a bunch of indians from elance.
huh? (Score:2)
Wait, I thought that was Walking Dead?
Bah ha ha ha ha ha! Ballmer! Ha ha ha ha!
webisodes (Score:2)
sounds like something that will be shown in small bits and clips as part of mainstream media, and maybe played in full lengths at career fairs, MS HQ during interfests, etc...
There is no way we're going to watch programmers on mainstream TV, there is just nothing interesting about it to average people, and those who do it for a living will do nothing but be aggravated by it.
Desperate and Lame (Score:2)
... I'm speaking of Microsoft
Why? (Score:2)
Also, you might have to talk to Steve Ballmer. The thought makes me wince.
-B
The .NET Challenge (Score:2)
For this challenge you can gain immunity by building a .net application Steve would be proud of.
Feel free to use any .net language for this challenge since they are all just VB with a different syntax.
In the end we will grade your shiny new version of notepad and declare the winner which will gain immunity in the next round.
I understand the situation (Score:2)
SQL DBA? I thought it was about programmers (Score:2)
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Worse than that -- Omarosa, the designated villain from the first Apprentice, was still working for Trump 5 years later.
Some people seem to enjoy punishment.
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Yes, not seeing this is only second to feeling superior by going out of your way to tell people you don't own a TV.
I'll ignore the fact that you are reading this on a TV right now.
TV is the drug of the nation (Score:2)
Saying you do not own a TV is like saying you are drug free. Not a big deal among people who are not addicts but among addicts it does have a smug feeling to it when rubbing it in their faces - it also has a similar appearance to being a jerk.
It is not as bad as informing everybody you are a Christian.
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Yes, yes. The Onion already wrote an article [theonion.com] about you 12 years ago.
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No, they get a job. theodp wrote that nonsense based on not actually reading the source he linked and from being unable to understand plain English.
hmmm, apparently I wrote the Bible also... (Score:2)
I wish I could travel back in time and kill who ever came up with "reality" shows.
I wish I could travel back in time and kill whoever invented time machines [amazon.com].
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How come the spell checker suggests "Ballgirl" for Ballmer? Damn Chrome.
I think, it's something from /d/...