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Broken Beer Bottle Battle In Debate Over Merits of Android Over iPhone 134

HughPickens.com writes Lee Hutchinson writes at Ars Technica that platform loyalty is a powerful thing, as two roommates in Tulsa, Oklahoma stabbed each other with broken beer bottles in a debate over the relative merits of Android versus iPhones. Tulsa police were called to Evergreen Apartments at 1 a.m after a woman found a man covered in blood, stumbling around the parking lot and found that two roommates had been drinking and arguing over their mobile phones. The two men broke beer bottles and stabbed each other with them and one of the men smashed a bottle over the back of the other man's head. "In over 35 years as a cop, this is one of the oddest reasons I've seen for assault," says Maj. Rod Hummel. According to Channel 8 News, police had no comment when asked which phone was in fact better.
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Broken Beer Bottle Battle In Debate Over Merits of Android Over iPhone

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  • by SuperKendall ( 25149 ) on Monday April 20, 2015 @12:52PM (#49511867)

    They would have escalated to a steel-cage death match, but the signal drop was too great,

    • This reminds of of the song "More Pride than Priors" by The Pine Box Boys.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?... [youtube.com]
    • by ackthpt ( 218170 ) on Monday April 20, 2015 @01:01PM (#49511955) Homepage Journal

      Wait until they find the body of the Windows Phone fanboy.

      • That's funny!!!

        But fact is the Windows Phone fanboy wasn't actually invited to the party. Isn't that like most of us during our high school years?

    • by Anonymous Coward on Monday April 20, 2015 @01:06PM (#49511993)

      The Android guy won the fight. After the beer bottles, they hit each other with their phones, but the iPhone guy dropped his; turns out he was holding it wrong.

    • by itzly ( 3699663 )

      They would have escalated to a steel-cage death match, but the signal drop was too great,

      At least, it would have been too great for the iPhone.

  • by Anonymous Coward

    Alcohol leads to bad decision making and can easily lead to an escalation over any petty debate..

    It may be the oddest the police man has seen drunks fight over, but i doubt it was the most petty

  • So two complete idiots almost earned themselves Darwin awards then?

    Fucking morons.

    • I don't know I have an iphone and it does what it is supposed to. I like it fine but I was working a fanboi the other day...

      iphone this, ipad, that , macbook mabook macbook...

      I was ready to hit him with a car just to get him to shut up.

       

  • root cause (Score:5, Insightful)

    by beschra ( 1424727 ) on Monday April 20, 2015 @12:58PM (#49511923)

    "In over 35 years as a cop, this is one of the oddest reasons I've seen for assault,"

    You mean alcohol?

    • possibility that someone will argue over X types
      x
      possibility that someone will get drunk and fight after arguing over X
      x
      7 billion
      x
      eternity
      =
      yes yes yes

    • Come to think of it, this is one of the more intelligent reasons I've seen drunk people fight.
    • "In over 35 years as a cop, this is one of the oddest reasons I've seen for assault,"

      You mean alcohol?

      Pick a couple of rabid folks from the emacs vs. vi crowd, give them a case of Bud in long-necks . . . and you will probably end up with the same behavior.

      • vi guy will win because emacs guy will be too busy contorting his fingers over all the meta keys to launch 'bottleopener.el'.
    • Cops deal with crazy things all the time. The last time I listened to a scanner there was some guy under a bridge attacking people with Nunchucks.

  • News at 11! (Score:5, Informative)

    by Rob Riggs ( 6418 ) on Monday April 20, 2015 @12:59PM (#49511931) Homepage Journal

    Drunk people fight over stupid shit. Tune in this Sunday for our round-table debate: is this really news for nerds?

    • is this really news for nerds?

      Let's see ... they were fighting over Android vs. iPhone. That sounds like many Slashdot posts on a typical day. So yes, it's news for nerds.

    • by T.E.D. ( 34228 )

      Drunk people fight over stupid shit.

      You're missing the point. Oklahoma is a 3.2% beer state [wikipedia.org]. So they actually managed to get drunk enough on 3.2 beer to get into a brawl over phone OS's. That is some serious dedication. I'm guessing the bottles were used as weapons because the whole room was full of them, so there was nothing else to grab.

  • by cs668 ( 89484 ) <cservin@cromagnon.com> on Monday April 20, 2015 @01:01PM (#49511959)

    I'm ashamed that vi vs. emacs never ended in a knife fight. The youngens are showing us up!!

    • I'm ashamed that vi vs. emacs never ended in a knife fight. The youngens are showing us up!!

      Years back I heard a rumour that at a conference in Australia that Theo de Raadt and a relatively big name Linux contributor got in an argument over autoconf which ended with them being physically restrained.

      I don't know if it's true but it's one of the more awesome things I've heard.

    • I'm ashamed that vi vs. emacs never ended in a knife fight. The youngens are showing us up!!

      No offence to Vi users but have you ever tried using Emacs? With those kinds of finger gymnastics the Emacs user would win a knife fight in a heartbeat.

      • by cs668 ( 89484 )

        Yea, but the vi folks have the mad left hand reach for the ESC key thing going on.

        • Meta-x Meta-c Meta-shank

          I'm a vim user for life, but I'm pretty sure there's an emacs command for knife fighting.

          • Ah, you mean:

            Escape-Meta-Alt-Control-SHIV!

            It's one of the lesser-known commands, even if it is hidden in the acronym.
    • What about: Tab vs Spaces?

    • Clubs and sticks maybe... perhaps some stone tools, but that is about it.

    • by ClickOnThis ( 137803 ) on Monday April 20, 2015 @03:55PM (#49513757) Journal

      I'm ashamed that vi vs. emacs never ended in a knife fight.

      It did. Sort of.

      The emacs dude ran M-x knife-fight.

      The vi dude ran :s/knife/pillow/g.

      The rest of the fight was obscured by flying feathers.

    • by lorinc ( 2470890 )

      Tsss. There nothing better than a good slap of keyboard in the face of an emacs user. I've heard that's the recommended way to do those pesky combinations of keys on emacs.

    • I'm ashamed that vi vs. emacs never ended in a knife fight. The youngens are showing us up!!

      Because their tools are softened enough to not hurt anybody. You need sed to do that.

  • Since anyone using it would be embarrassed to admit it, there won't be any fights over it...

  • The iPhone bottle opener case [openacase.com] would have solved their problem. they could have opened their beers like civilized people instead of on each other's heads.
  • Can we all agree (Score:5, Informative)

    by slaker ( 53818 ) on Monday April 20, 2015 @01:11PM (#49512037)

    Can we all at least agree that the sorry excuse for a motherfucker who made the default iOS keyboard that doesn't change the case of characters with the state of the shift key needs a good shanking?

    If there's any single developer that needs a stabbing, it's that guy.

    • by Skater ( 41976 )
      Yeah, when I switched back to iOS that was definitely something that took getting used to. It didn't bother me before I switched to Android, but after coming back to iOS, it was like, "Hey, what's wrong with the shift button?" Neither platform is perfect, though. Android irritated me with some of its quirks, too.
      • Android lets you change keyboards. IOS has something that appears to do this, but it randomly reverts (such as when entering passwords) and is terribly limited compared to Android, not even supporting dictation.

    • My guess this was a Steve Jobs call, if he did not like it, it would have been changed !!!
      • Yes, but SJ is gone now. Which is why we have bigger iPhones, crappy Apple TV, iPad physical specs getting worse, corporate charitable contributions,
  • two roommates in Tulsa, OklahomaÂstabbed each other with broken beer bottles in a debateÂ

    I wasn't on the debate team in school, but I'm pretty sure once you start using whatever is within arms reach as a weapon to physically attack your opponent, it's no longer a "debate". Or perhaps this is some new definition of the word.

    • by Anonymous Coward

      I wasn't on the debate team in school

      Obviously.

    • It is the continuation of debate by other means.

      Apologies to Carl von Clausewitz.

  • by Anonymous Coward

    Tulsa, where they filmed both The Outsiders and UHF--with good reason.

    So of all places, it makes perfect sense to me.

  • ...get me an ambulance.

    "Sure. Ordering you a ham sandwich."

  • Who won? (Score:5, Funny)

    by nine-times ( 778537 ) <nine.times@gmail.com> on Monday April 20, 2015 @01:57PM (#49512609) Homepage
    Does the article say who won the fight? I'm thinking of buying a new phone, and I want to know if I should buy and Android phone or an iPhone. Since stabbing each other with broken bottles is an appropriate way to determine who has the best phone, this information is relevant to my interests.
  • by nimbius ( 983462 ) on Monday April 20, 2015 @02:26PM (#49512927) Homepage

    stabbed each other with broken beer bottles

    As a part time bartender i can attest, chances are likely it was a healthy dose of booze that brought this on. Ive had customers that beat the crap out of eachother for disagreements over how to hold a martini, where to park during a football game, and how to lace shoes properly in the event of a zombie apocalypse.

    • by sootman ( 158191 )

      Pinky out, near the exit, and over/under, right?

    • by cwingrav ( 8705 )

      Yeah gads man, way to leave us with a cliffhanger. What were the correct responses!

    • As a part time bartender i can attest, chances are likely it was a healthy dose of booze that brought this on. Ive had customers that beat the crap out of eachother for disagreements over how to hold a martini, where to park during a football game, and how to lace shoes properly in the event of a zombie apocalypse.

      I can understand the martini and laces, but why would you go a football game during a zombie apocalypse?

  • by dav1dc ( 2662425 ) on Monday April 20, 2015 @02:46PM (#49513133) Homepage

    Why did they have the smash physical beer bottles - isn't there an App for that?? ;)

    • by SeaFox ( 739806 )

      Why did they have the smash physical beer bottles - isn't there an App for that?? ;)

      Responding to each other's talking points with the fart app might have been a contributing factor to things escalating.

  • I mean with it's larger screen, removable storage device, and replaceable battery it definitely has the advantage.

    What? Oh wait... nevermind.

    • by mjwx ( 966435 )

      I mean with it's larger screen, removable storage device, and replaceable battery it definitely has the advantage.

      What? Oh wait... nevermind.

      The Android guy won because the Iphone guy could only use one bottle at a time.

  • The cop says it was the oddest reason he's seen for an assault, but this is Tulsa, and two rednecks going at it over Ford vs. Chevy pickups is nothing noteworthy there.

  • Keep the beer, toss the phones

All extremists should be taken out and shot.

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