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English City Council "Not Ready" for Zombie Attack 121

Posted by samzenpus
from the double-tap-initiative dept.
Unlike the CDC, a freedom of information request submitted to the Leicester City Council has revealed that the council is not prepared for an unexpected zombie invasion. From the article: "'We've had a few wacky ones before but this one did make us laugh,' said Lynn Wyeth, head of information governance. The Freedom of Information Act allows a right of access to recorded information held by public authorities. Ms Wyeth said she was unaware of any specific reference to a zombie attack in the council's emergency plan, however some elements of it could be applied if the situation arose."
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English City Council "Not Ready" for Zombie Attack

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  • by guyminuslife (1349809) on Friday June 10, 2011 @09:52PM (#36408374)

    Will you be laughing when the apocalypse comes, and you look back and say, "We weren't prepared, oh god, we weren't prepared...."

    No! You'll be wandering the streets of Leicester, all dripping blood and rotting flesh, hungering for brains. BE PREPARED!

  • Duh. (Score:4, Insightful)

    by Anonymous Coward on Friday June 10, 2011 @10:04PM (#36408432)

    If you're prepared for it, it's not unexpected.

  • You Know... (Score:5, Funny)

    by Greyfox (87712) on Friday June 10, 2011 @10:07PM (#36408454) Homepage Journal
    Even if the zombies never come, it's never really a bad idea to install steel storm shutters or stockpile AR50s and ammo. Just sayin'
    • A stockpile of AR15's would be a much better choice for the zombie invasion. Just sayin'
      • by Lehk228 (705449)
        AR 15 is a horrible gun for fighting zombies.

        relatively sensitive to rough treatment and inadequate servicing, the direct impingement gas system tends to foul faster and under sustained firing can build up enough heat to melt lacquer coatings from coated ammo, leading to jams that are very fun to clear with the parts so hot.

        if you want to use a semi-auto or assault rifle for zombie protection there are two families of rifle to look at, AK47 and SKS, both are tolerant of rough treatment. my personal pr
        • by Gerzel (240421)

          What about something in an easy to handle shotgun? For the person who doesn't shoot much but still wants to be ready for the zombies. Also squirrels. Automatic is a plus for the squirrels.

          • by Lehk228 (705449)
            shotguns are great to exceptional. a little $400 Mossberg pump gun is easy to handle in close quarters and very reliable. 12Ga shotgun shells are also probably the easiest ammo te get your hands on as it is carried literally everywhere that sells ammo, it is restricted by law pretty much nowhere, and it's cheap to practice with target loads
            • by Roachie (2180772)
              Yea the pump is useful in room-to-room exchanges and out to some yardage, But I would want the stopping power at range that An AK/SKS provides. The AR is a true death trap for one who relies on it, unless you can get your target to stand still and wait for you to disassemble the weapon to clear the frequent jams.

              My biggest problem with the AR isn't the fouling, its the locking lugs on the bolt- they bite into misfed cartridges and fubar the weapon. I have jammed ARs simply by hitting the bolt release too ha
            • by pjt33 (739471)

              it is restricted by law pretty much nowhere

              Are we still talking about Leicester? Because I seem to recall that blanks for starting pistols are restricted by law in England.

              • by fantomas (94850) on Saturday June 11, 2011 @04:00AM (#36409682)

                In the UK you'll need a shotgun licence to own a shotgun. Not so easy to get. You'll have to persuade the police (they do a home visit for each application) that you have a good reason for needing one, and "being prepared for the zombie invasion" probably won't be the winning answer....

                • by EdZ (755139)
                  "I would like to own a shotgun" is a sufficient reason to apply for a shotgun permit. It's the FAC that covers other firearms (.22 rimfire semi-automatics and bolt-action of larger calibre) that's somewhat more onerous in it's requirements; mainly that you need to be a member in good standing of a firearms club.
                • by u38cg (607297)
                  It's actually not too bad. They're essentially checking that you're not batshit insane, not likely to kill yourself with it, and not likely to give or sell it to criminals. As long as you don't appear to be the kind of person that attempts to clear stoppages by banging the butt on the ground and staring down the barrel, you're generally OK.
                  • indeed. claiming fighting zombie invasions as your reason for wanting one might get you into the "batshit insane" category pretty quickly though....

        • by tibman (623933)

          Not that i agree with your assessment of the AR15, i've only used the M16A2/4 and M4. But I would say you should only choose a gun that the local army and police stockpile ammo for. You would have to stockpile a vast amount of ammo to make sitting in one place worth it. All that shooting will do nothing but attract more zombie targets and expend more ammo. Being mobile (light!) seems more preferable, imo.

          • by Lehk228 (705449)
            i'm not knocking the AR-15, in fact i want one.

            just not for a SHTF and especially a zombie SHTF there is plenty of 7.62x39 around and more of it is in robust packaging, like russian "spam" cans twin packed in wooden crates, instead of cardboard boxes in cardboard cases and maybe wrapped in plastic
        • The AR15 is far better than an AR50, for a whole host of reasons, from semi auto operation to fairly wide availability of the ammo. I'm pretty sure the OP just mixed it up with the AR15, to be honest, which is why I posted at all.
        • Here are my thoughts on weaponry:

          Guns are ok but you need the right one. Shotguns have high recoil and the ammo is bulky and slow on reloads. Semi-autos can also have a reload problem since you can burn through ammo fast, and you also have to deal with muzzle rise as well. Large caliber pistols take a bit of practice to get good at, the large ones such as the .357 mag. or .45 have a bit of recoil to deal with. Pistols are really only good in the 7 m range. It takes a lot practice to get accurate at longer r

      • Six of one... You get a lot more stopping power out of a 50cal than a .223 Remington, but the (except in California; stupid "bullet button" requirement) detachable magazine and (semi)automatic operation of the AR15 would certainly have advantages. Still, with proper training, from 250' away, even firing at a moving target, a shooter can get off 3 shots with a bolt-action rifle in only six seconds, and score two hits -- including a head shot.

      • by modecx (130548)

        Hey now, don't be so quick to dismiss the too heavy-caliber to be practical zombie-slaying options. You could install some of those red velvet-rope waiting lines, and also put up a big sign reading "FREE BRAIIIINS" on a kiosk... Surely the zombies would patiently queue up (I mean, it's not like they have anywhere else to go), and when you've got a few dozen deep...kablammo!

    • by IrquiM (471313)
      You need to explain AR50s to us Europeans - we don't use guns you see...
    • by Phoghat (1288088)
      Silly man. The AR 50 is a single shot rifle. After you kill a zombie, you'll have to re-load. What you need is what's known as a "Ma Deuce" or the Browning M2 50 caliber machine gun. Kind of hard to carry around however.

      Personally, I'd prefer a Mossberg short barrel shotgun with a magazine extension. Just saying.

  • by Manos_Of_Fate (1092793) <link226@gmail.com> on Friday June 10, 2011 @10:21PM (#36408542)

    is not prepared for an unexpected zombie invasion.

    As opposed to all of those expected zombie attacks?

  • It's happening! Get your cricket things and go smack some zombies!

  • by Scutter (18425) on Friday June 10, 2011 @10:36PM (#36408622) Journal

    ...for any zombie invasion of the English countryside: Barricade yourself in the Winchester.

    • by teslar (706653)

      for any zombie invasion of the English countryside

      Just nitpicking - the movie was set (and shot) in London. Getting to the Winchester may not be the smartest move if you're in the countryside :)

      Of course I suppose it is up to debate whether it's smarter to be in a big city or in the country side during a zombie invasion - I'd go with remote countryside locations in the hope that Zombies just pass you by en route to the next major food source/city.

      • Zombies don't travel much. If you're in a city, you'll be surrounded by millions of them. If you're in the country, you'll just have to deal with a few wanderers and the neighbours. Zombies just don't have the forward-planning ability to set off for a distant food source, and even if they did they don't have the coordination to drive so they'll be traveling very slowly.
        • by Nuskrad (740518)
          Plus, in the English countryside everyone and their mum has a gun. Like farmers... and farmer's mums
        • by Nidi62 (1525137)
          Being out in the country didn't help the people holed up in that farmhouse at the beginning of 28 Weeks Later. Of course, you just have to have the willingness to not open the barricade for anyone, even a child.
          • But those were 28 Days zombies: They have no established rules, so they can do anything the writers want. The classic zombie is much better established: A reanimated corpse, slow and uncoordinated in movement but of immense durability. Individually they may be simply walked away from, but with their ability to quickly spread the zombification they will easily form a horde of tens of thousands. The threat is in their numbers.
  • Besides the fact that zombies... don't exist, this oatmeal should help ye prepare:http://theoatmeal.com/comics/zombie_how
    • Did a zombie eat the part of your brain that does hyperlinks, or has it always been missing?

      • by Lanteran (1883836)
        Slashdot usually automatically hyperlinks urls. Sorry for the site's malfunction. If the zombies ate the copy/paste center, though, this should help you: Linky for the copy/paste impaired [theoatmeal.com].
        • Slashdot usually automatically hyperlinks urls.

          This was a bug even before the great redesign.

          Copy/paste impaired, am I? At least I know how to use the preview. Now get off my lawn!

  • I reckon they've done their research and after watching a whole heap of zombie movies, realised that if there is an outbreak it will most likely start in America. This will give them plenty of time to formulate a plan before it spreads to England.

    • Well, it's a reasonable assumption. A lot of Bad Things start in the American Colonies, then move to the UK after they've proven themselves here. Marijuana prohibition... infinite extension of copyright terms... reality TV...

    • by Anonymous Coward

      What do you mean "start"?
      Did I miss something? I didn't notice FOX and the Neocons* ever stopping... ^^

      * OK, let's not insult conservatives. Neocons don't conserve anything. They destroy. Things like the constitution. A better name would be "fascists". (Also: Not saying they are limited to the Republican party, or the USA.)

    • Everyone knows the zombie apocalypse is already hapenning: it started in Germany, and authorities are lying that it's E coli infection.

  • Too late (Score:3, Funny)

    by Lexx Greatrex (1160847) on Friday June 10, 2011 @10:46PM (#36408678) Homepage Journal

    I have been on the tube... the zombies are already there

  • About FOIA... I thought it was American legislation, but this is definitely a UK city. Is it called the same thing across the pond?
    • Similar legislation exists elsewhere too. In UK its FOIA, namesake to the American law. In India its called the Right to Information Act.
    • Re:Stupid Question (Score:4, Informative)

      by Gadget_Guy (627405) * on Friday June 10, 2011 @11:48PM (#36408944)

      About FOIA... I thought it was American legislation, but this is definitely a UK city. Is it called the same thing across the pond?

      It is not a stupid question. In fact it is the most serious post here that I have read. The UK has the Freedom of Information Act 2000 [legislation.gov.uk]. In my own country of Australia we have the Freedom of Information act 1982 [austlii.edu.au]. There are plenty of other countries [wikipedia.org] that have something similar.

      And this has been an entirely frivolous and annoying use the act.

      • by Nuskrad (740518)
        And this has been an entirely frivolous and annoying use the act.

        The information officer at the council obviously disagrees, he could have denied the request if he had though it was 'lacking any serious purpose or value'. If nothing else it has brought knowledge of citizen's rights under the act to a wider audience
    • by beuges (613130)

      And here in South Africa, the ANC government is desperately trying to force the Protection of Information Bill into law, essentially criminalizing whistle-blowing rather than protecting it. So much for SA being a democracy, or a progressive African country. It's just another dictatorship with the figurehead rotating every few years.

  • They've had 50 years to prepare for a triffid attack, but I bet they're not ready for that, either.
    • by ktappe (747125)

      They've had 50 years to prepare for a triffid attack, but I bet they're not ready for that, either.

      Darn it...I was blissfully unaware of triffids until I read your post and went a-googling. Now I'll not sleep a wink tonight. Thanks a lot!

  • Blah blah blah Chuck Norris! Ha ha ha.

    Blah blah blah bacon! Ha ha ha.

    Blah blah blah I can has? Ha ha ha.

    Blah blah blah Weiner! Ha ha ha.

    Blah blah blah Zombies. Ha ha ha.

  • ... has revealed that the council is not prepared for an unexpected zombie invasion.

    Does that mean the council is prepared for zombie invasions in general, but just doesn't know how to deal with unexpected ones?

  • by Artifakt (700173) on Saturday June 11, 2011 @01:09AM (#36409208)

    The British have a perfectly cromulent plan to deal with zombie invasion, involving possibly activating the 'white elephants' of squadron 666, and definitely loading the SCORPION STARE software in all enabled CCTV surveillance systems in zombie plagued areas. Playing an electric violin arrangement of Wagner's 'Ride of the Valkyries' at them may also be needed in a few cases, but really we're saving that for the plague's masters.
            Oh, you're not cleared CASE NIGHTMARE GREEN? Nevermind - I seem to have misspoken. The British have absolutely no plans to deal with zombie invasions.
     

    • I don't think the white elephants would be ideal for dealing with a zombie invasion SCORPION STARE sure, but not the white elephants.

    • How many times do I have to say it- Dammit, watch your OPSEC!

      You are in violation of Section Three of the Official Secrets Act. Slashdot does not have GAME ANDES REDSHIFT clearance. You'll be answering to the auditors for this one...

  • Sure, it is a fun and games until your slow shuffling, pasty-faced neighbor chomps down on your skull.
  • by Lincolnshire Poacher (1205798) on Saturday June 11, 2011 @02:14AM (#36409414)

    FOIA exists for a reason and that reason is not to make flippant and pointless enquiries.

    There are already plenty of threats [economist.com] to rescind or curtail FOIA inthe UK and nonsense like this, which wastes time and money, will only lend credence to those calls.

    In other words: wise up.

    • by JSG (82708)

      At the moment this is the MoTD in the /. footer :

      "Mix a little foolishness with your serious plans; it's lovely to be silly at the right moment. -- Horace"

      Cheers
      Jon

    • .. you ought to admire the typically British sense of humour shining through here. I mean, poking a bit of fun at officials is not actually a bad thing in a world that is becoming increasingly obsessed with boring rules and regulations.

      Yes, I know this takes "valuable" time, but let's face it - to BUY entertainment and job enjoyment like that would cost more - after such a stunt the rest of the day goes so much easier.

      It's not always about money..

    • by u38cg (607297)
      One man's flippant and pointless inquiry is another's raison d'etre. More to the point, if you're on the receiving end, they are *all* flippant and pointless. I have made a couple of enquiries under the act and while they were important to me, a public interest test would probably have knocked them out.

      If freedom of information means anything, it means that the zombie invaders must be answered along with everyone else. Set your information systems up properly, and it should be perfectly easy to manage

    • by doccus (2020662)
      If it's the same in your country as ours, you have to be rather specific about any FOI request, such as 'all the minutes of the council meeting at so and so date, regarding zombie attacks'. which would lead me to believe that the council were set up, to appear as fools, by *someone*, ahead of time, i.e. during the meeting by directly or indirectly introducing the motion, who then later tipped off someone to request FOI... Just a hunch....
  • Leicester can just use the plans they came up for the coming Olympics for dealing with visiting American Tea Party dignitaries.

    Not enough difference between zombies to tea baggers to bother with the extra expense. Close enough for government work, anyway.

  • I can't believe I wasted 30 seconds reading this! Whats worse than that is I can't believe the number of idiots that waste even more time commenting on it. Oh crap, I just commented on it! Oh well, I will just have to add myself to the idiot list. :o()
  • Just issue SIGSTOP to the parent processes that don't ignore SIGCHLD, and once child processes exit, you have zombies!

  • Anybody want to meet me at Zombie-paloozo 2012 in Leicester next year?

    If their smart the town council will organize that, they just had a gift dropped on their lap. :)

  • I think you can replace zombie invasion with virus contamination, or swarm infestation, etc....
    the idea is that something is able to spread at an abnormal rate, will you be able to contain it.....someone coughs and spreads a virus, the next one gets it, and so on, whether a zombie bites you, and then you bite someone else, or someone coughs on you, it is the same, disease containment is the point of the story, and the fact they actually could not see the real issue, is pretty sad. Zombie movies just add a l

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